Hope – Sunshine Lane

Just Keep Swimming, Swimming, Swimming!

This year has been a mess like nothing I’ve ever seen in my 59 years of living! The world is changing so fast and there seems to be so many more dangers than there were when this year began. Deadly mysterious viruses, broken economy, violence, natural disasters, and opportunists looming in the background to take advantage of this bad situation. I know that we’ll all come through this, but it is really tough some days to keep one’s chin up and maintain a positive attitude. I think we can all agree on that!

So, how does one stay positive, maintain faith in a good and gentle God, and keep on being a good, compassionate, hardworking, gentle-spirited peaceful person? There are many ways employed to do it, but for myself, I read scripture, pray, work on improving myself by following a new career path, reading, and crocheting like a crazy woman! (I have a new grand baby arriving in 7 days and I can hardly wait! Hence the mad crocheting. I have things I want to get to my kids before Little Miss arrives. Can you say cute booties, caps, and cuddle blankets?)

One thing I’ve learned through the years is that action is key to maintaining a healthy outlook and moving forward. I’ve had chronic low-grade depression all my adult life. I take antidepressants, which help immensely, but I learned a long time ago that when I feel like just curling up into myself with my thoughts and low feelings, that is when I need to get up and move! I need to physically move, be active, get outside for some sunshine and fresh air (wearing sunscreen), and shake up my complacent world! Sometimes just vacuuming the house can be therapeutic. When I was younger, I would rearrange the furniture in my house (and sometimes my office), deep clean, reorganize things in my environment, and feel like a new woman! When I finally realized what my furniture rearranging was all about (movement, exertion, sweat, and imagination), I knew I had clicked into a way to stave off depression, stay physically fit, and be healthier all the way around.

Does that mean that everyone should rearrange their house or office furniture to stave off depression and anxiety? No! Everyone has their own key to keeping themselves out of depression and anxiety. You just have to find that key for yourself! What gets your heart pumping, your imagination firing, and your face determined? What makes YOU smile?

One way I’ve found to figure myself out is to write in a journal frequently. Getting all my frustrations, hurts, confusion, and life situations down on paper by physically writing them down performs a miracle for me. It clears my head and my heart. It also gives me a map of the path I need to take in my life. I know writing isn’t the way for everyone. Perhaps drawing, painting, singing, taking a walk, taking a drive, house repairs, or building something is the best way for you to clear your head. As long as there is physical movement and some space for you to think your way clear through your confusion and anxiety, it is good!

If you are a person of faith, keep connecting to that faith through prayer, study, and meditation. Keep your mind focused on what is good, pure, healthy, and positive and you will find peace.

I’ve jabbered on enough this morning. I hope I’ve inspired some of you with a few of the ways I fight off depression and anxiety. Remember, THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Life never sits still. It is always changing. These dark times won’t last forever. Good times will return. Until then, hold on, find what works for you, and just do it! (Sorry Nike!)

I love you all and want you to be happy, healthy, and free from anxiety. Until next time, keep on swimming, swimming, swimming!

Dory (Like the little blue fish.)

Teach Your Children

Teach your children well. If necessary, use words. Mostly though, get them involved with other children of all races, ethnicities, socioeconomic groups, political groups, and differently abled groups. It will teach them love, acceptance, and respect for others that they won’t find on their own.

I was never exposed to people of color until I was in the third grade in 1970. My teacher, Miss Bazy, was the first black person I ever met and I was terrified simply because she was different. At the end of the first week of school, she asked me to stay after class. I was a shy, quiet kid who never got in trouble so I was scared. Everyone left and she asked me to come up to her at her desk. All 35 pounds of me was shaking with nerves. She didn’t say a word, but took my hand in hers and held it for a minute or two, smiling gently all the while. Then she turned my hand over, palm side up, and asked me, “Did your hand turn black because you held my black hand?” Of course I shook my head no. She then said, “Honey, I’m not going to hurt you. I’m just like you except God colored me differently than you.” Then she gave me the sweetest hug I EVER got from a teacher before or since. I burst into tears because I was so ashamed for being afraid. She just held me and patted my back as I told her I was so sorry. I believe the most important thing I learned that year took place in a 10 minute lesson. She was a great teacher, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve especially never forgotten that moment.

Ever since that day I’ve understood we are all the same in many ways. We are all human, have basic needs, wishes, emotions, attachments, and gifts. We all deserve respect and dignity, compassion and empathy. We all need to teach our children well. That is how we will change the world now and in the future.

Kindness and Goodness Wins!!

As many of you know, I’ve traveled a lot this summer. My husband and I traveled to Ireland, Spain, England, and spent one day in France. Then last week I traveled to the Chicago area to spend time with my baby grandson, daughter-in-law and son.

I’ve said all my life that I truly believe there are more kind and good people in the world than there are mean and evil people, but kindness and goodness doesn’t get much press because it’s not as sensational. Frankly, I think kindness and goodness is so “common” that it’s not considered news.

I know I don’t have any scientific data to back up my claims that there are more kind and good people in the world than mean and evil people, but I do have my own experiences and I’m happy to report that everywhere I’ve been and of everyone I’ve met, kindness and goodness wins! I can honestly only think of two people this entire summer of traveling that were short-tempered, grumpy and a little scary. This is out of hundreds, if not thousands, of other people I was around or met. For those of you who like scientific data, let’s just say I made contact with 100 people directly over the course of the summer and only 2 of those 100 were jerks. That’s 2% of the population! I actually met or was surrounded by thousands of people and still only two people were not nice. Even those two people who weren’t nice weren’t being ugly to me, but to other people.

Let that sink in a minute. Only two people out of thousands in several countries in the world were unkind and rude. For all I know those two people might have been having exceptionally bad days or some sort of personal crisis going on that caused them to be that way on that day.

On the other hand, I can’t tell you how many people held doors for me, spoke pleasantly, cooperated and played well with others in group situations, and in general were just great people! For heavens sake, in Dublin, I took myself out of the Friday 5:00 PM crush of people on the street for a breather and a complete stranger walked over to make sure I was ok and not hurt or something! He was genuinely concerned about me!

In Spain when we thought we had lost our luggage, we had no less than three people help us by translating for us, looking up our information, and taking us through a back door, bypassing security, to pick up our luggage. The clerk was nice, a young woman who could speak three or four languages was nice and another guy was patient by letting us go ahead of him in line. I would even add that the language lady spent at least 20 minutes of her own personal time to assist us! She didn’t work for the airlines. She had nothing to gain by taking the time to help us. She just did it and we were most appreciative!

In London, the man at the flat management office went so far and above the call of common courtesy. He was wonderful and so helpful to the two fish out of water from Colorado. He was originally from eastern Europe and had worked hard to get to his position of management, but didn’t let it keep him from being patient and kind.

I felt like I made some real connections with complete strangers on the trip too and some of them have even become Facebook friends because we had a good time together and truly connected.

Do you know what most of these kind people spoke of when we visited together? Their families, friends, and other loved ones. Ok, there was the one taxi driver who regaled us with all the anecdotes about famous people he had met and ferried around, but in the end he spoke about his wife of many years whom he obviously loved more than anyone else.

So, what’s my point besides the fact that I believe there are more kind and nice people in the world than mean and evil people? Well, it’s like this. If we just listen to the news, read the internet, watch movies, or other media, it sounds like the world is going to hell in a handbasket and it’s just a matter of time until we all blow ourselves up. There’s this sense of “protect yourself because everyone else is out to get you.” From what I’ve seen in the world, that’s just not true. There are people out there who are mean and vengeful and terrorist in nature. I know that. I’m not totally naive regarding that fact. However, I believe there are so many more good people in the world who come together and help one another who save the day in the end. I find great hope and comfort in that. I hope you will too. Be kind. Be loving. Quit arguing over little things that don’t matter. Quit arguing and being hateful on social media over big things that do matter. You’re not going to change someone’s mind by being harsh. Be nice to someone, though, listen respectfully, and respond in kind, and maybe you’ll both change your minds a little bit. Remember, we’re all in this world together and if we work together, kindly and generously, we’ll all be much better off. I believe in the world’s overall kindness. Some may think I’m crazy, but just imagine the amazing possibilities if I’m right…

Peace and love, always,

Elaine

Sunbeams|NaPoWriMo Day 17

Twenty years ago today,
the Oklahoma bombing
occurred and a tornado
was headed towards
my sons’ school
that same afternoon.

I was at work and
could do nothing
about either situation.

I was a basket case,
heartbroken,
terrified, and worn out.

My fiance’ picked
me up from work.

My boys were safe
and happy,
eyes shining.

At home,
on the kitchen table,
was a bright yellow
sunshine cake
that my boyfriend
had made to
cheer me up.

St. Francis said,
“A single sunbeam
is strong enough
to drive away
many shadows.”

That cake was a
single sunbeam
for me that day.

The hug my boyfriend
gave me then also
was so sweet that
I could feel the
sadness leave
my body.

The day was still
tragic, but when we
share bad days
with ones we love,
when the sun
comes up the next morning,
we’re better able to
get up with it.

I’ve been a little behind on poem writing the past couple of days, but I’ll be caught up by tomorrow evening I think. The prompt for day 17 was to write a “social media”-style poem. Namecheck all of your friends. Quote from their texts, tweets, FB status updates, twitter accounts, and blogposts, and the back of the cereal box on your breakfast table. The poem is about you and you are about what you say, think, talk, eat. You might end up with a poem that seems bizarrely solipsistic (like the internet itself, maybe?), but there might also be a spark there of something live and fun and present (like the verbal equivalent of a really great animated cat .gif).

I must admit I did look at FB posts from today and between some of those posts, my own memories, and the great quote from St. Francis, this poem was born. I didn’t follow the prompt quite, but, I like what this poem says. I hope you do too.